Hi Y'all,
Now, I know you are wondering where your next group hug is coming from. "When," you're thinking, "will I be hugged by a whole bunch of people wearing stonewashed denim? When will I get to sing songs about Jesus, about how he loved little lambkins?"
I have an answer for you. Your group hug and Jesus sing-along is coming very, very soon.
On August 4, in Portland, Oregon, the charming folks from Focus On The Family will converge at an as-of-yet-undisclosed location to hold a "dynamic" one-day conference. That's right -- "dynamic." No doubt about it. The conference is called "Love Won Out" -- note the optimism in the verb tense there. That's past tense. Love, it seems, has already won.
By now you can probably guess what the topic of this special event is: that's right. THE GAYS.
Once again, my girlfriend and I are practically famous. WE are responsible for EVERY EVIL
known to mankind, and therefore, it is imperative that we be SAVED.
Of course, Focus On The Family has been trying to "convert" The Gays for years now. So far
it doesn't seem to be working very well. But the tone of the conference is chipper -- after all, where else can you "hear from nationally known experts who have firsthand experience with the seldom-told side of the homosexual issue"? Nationally known experts like Nancy Heche, mother of Anne Heche, ex-lesbian icon? And hottie hotpants Alan Chambers, ex-gay stud (he "left homosexuality in '91," as if it were a small town in Iowa) who's now president of Exodus International, the world's largest conversion therapy machine?
I know you wanna go to this conference; I know you do. So, call to action: all queers and queer friendlies (ie sane people) within driving distance show up, make out, sing show tunes, and see how many ex-gays you can share, um, hand soap with in the bathrooms of the conference hall.
Seriously, folks -- tell your friends, and let's protest in style. Style is, after all, something
they can never take away from us. They might brainwash us, tear us away from our children, destroy our relationships with our blood family, force us into invasive "counseling," including forced rape and electroshock therapy, beat the crap out of us, and call us names. But they can never take away our dance moves.
See you there.
xo
c
Now, I know you are wondering where your next group hug is coming from. "When," you're thinking, "will I be hugged by a whole bunch of people wearing stonewashed denim? When will I get to sing songs about Jesus, about how he loved little lambkins?"
I have an answer for you. Your group hug and Jesus sing-along is coming very, very soon.
On August 4, in Portland, Oregon, the charming folks from Focus On The Family will converge at an as-of-yet-undisclosed location to hold a "dynamic" one-day conference. That's right -- "dynamic." No doubt about it. The conference is called "Love Won Out" -- note the optimism in the verb tense there. That's past tense. Love, it seems, has already won.
By now you can probably guess what the topic of this special event is: that's right. THE GAYS.
Once again, my girlfriend and I are practically famous. WE are responsible for EVERY EVIL
known to mankind, and therefore, it is imperative that we be SAVED.
Of course, Focus On The Family has been trying to "convert" The Gays for years now. So far
it doesn't seem to be working very well. But the tone of the conference is chipper -- after all, where else can you "hear from nationally known experts who have firsthand experience with the seldom-told side of the homosexual issue"? Nationally known experts like Nancy Heche, mother of Anne Heche, ex-lesbian icon? And hottie hotpants Alan Chambers, ex-gay stud (he "left homosexuality in '91," as if it were a small town in Iowa) who's now president of Exodus International, the world's largest conversion therapy machine?
I know you wanna go to this conference; I know you do. So, call to action: all queers and queer friendlies (ie sane people) within driving distance show up, make out, sing show tunes, and see how many ex-gays you can share, um, hand soap with in the bathrooms of the conference hall.
Seriously, folks -- tell your friends, and let's protest in style. Style is, after all, something
they can never take away from us. They might brainwash us, tear us away from our children, destroy our relationships with our blood family, force us into invasive "counseling," including forced rape and electroshock therapy, beat the crap out of us, and call us names. But they can never take away our dance moves.
See you there.
xo
c
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